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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29345157">The wish for peace</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CGJ/pseuds/CGJ'>CGJ</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The ways of Levi [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Gen, I love Levi with my whole heart, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, first fic, idk how to do this, let him rest, please, so pls read and judge, thank you</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:29:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,195</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29345157</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CGJ/pseuds/CGJ</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dear Levi, he’d always been with her. She wouldn’t have made it this far without his silent support. He meant the world to her."</p><p>Levi is wounded. Hanji treats him and wonders.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi &amp; Hange Zoë, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The ways of Levi [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2171247</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The wish for peace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘The world is a cruel place’.</p><p>That was the only thought that raced through Hanji’s mind as she desperately swam through the murky waters of the river. She had been lucky to get away, and she supposed that her being alive in the first place was even luckier.</p><p>As she exited the river coughing and sputtering, she took a moment to collect herself before she turned her attention to the heavily wounded man next to her. Levi Ackerman lay as still as a statue and the only signs that she hadn’t been carrying a dead body all this while were the shallow breaths she could hear.</p><p>Hanji half carried, half dragged Levi further up the bank. She had no idea where she was, but right now, tending to Levi was her top priority. She had to keep him alive. She wasn’t going to lose him.</p><p>Soon, Hanji returned to the same place from where she had escaped with Levi, noting with relief that Floch and his men had left the spot. Soon, after making sure that they were all safe, she set up a tent and collected what remained of the blown up cart. Then she patched him up the best she could. “Everyone was turned into a Titan, but only you survived”. She had never been more grateful that Levi was an Ackerman. It was the main reason he had been able to survive.</p>
<hr/><p>With Levi now in a fitful sleep, having patched him up the best she could, Hanji allowed her mind to roam free. But it always kept coming back to the man next to her.</p><p>‘Things were better just a while ago… how did this happen to you?’ she thought, as he furrowed his brows in pain. She stroked his hair and he relaxed once more. His minute reactions to pain were the only things that reassured Hanji that he wasn’t dead yet. She wondered how much pain he was in. She’d never been hurt this bad. The most that had ever happened to her was losing an eye. She hoped that he felt a little better at least. ‘I wish we weren’t in this stupid war. Then you could get better help from someone who really knows what they are doing’.</p>
<hr/><p>The first time Hanji saw Levi, she had been utterly fascinated by him. He was way stronger than all the veterans together, and his she had never seen anyone move the way he did. She took it upon herself to study him and she had observed him closely. She didn’t gather much information. Levi was a mysterious individual with a blatant disrespect for authority. The only people he ever seemed to listen to were his two friends Isabel and Furlan. Isabel was a sweet girl and Furlan was a straightforward person. Only Levi remained a mystery to her and she would get to the bottom of it.</p><p>And then his friends were killed.</p><p>It was an unspoken truth in the survey corps that most soldiers did not form familial relationships with each other owing to the uncertainty of return. They were comrades, friends even, but not a happy family. Hanji wondered what it was like to lose everything you had ever known. She thought of her parents and wondered what it would be like to lose them. She found that she couldn’t imagine the feeling at all. </p><p>Levi was always closed off. He hid everything under a mask of cold indifference. He kept to himself, was rude and crass, disrespected the higher ups, and was overall someone no on wanted to cross paths with. Any normal person would have stayed away from someone like Levi, but Hanji was a scientist and Levi her project. She approached him again and again, and he waved her off with threats and curses. But Hanji did not give up on trying to get him to talk to her. </p><p>“What now, Four-eyes? Why the fuck do you keep harassing me? Get lost!” Moblit made to drag her away but Hanji was feeling lucky that day. “Like I’ve been saying, I wanna know more about you! We’re all going drinking tonight. You can come with us and tell me all about how you do that with your ODM gear!” </p><p>She waited for his response eagerly and to her absolute delight, he actually agreed. ”Sure, whatever Four-eyes, as long as you stop bothering me all the time” he muttered. Hanji threw her hands around his shoulders and he pushed her off forcefully, but her spirit could not be crushed. She was making progress.</p>
<hr/><p>Hanji rearranged Levi’s sheets and continued to stich up the giant cut on his face. She wondered what had happened with Zeke. How had he gotten like this? He’d lost an eye and two fingers. His face was marred by a large scar.</p><p> She wondered what he would do now. From what she had gathered from what little Levi had told her about himself, he’d always had to fight to survive. It was all he’d ever known. What would he do now, now that he couldn’t fight anymore?</p>
<hr/><p>Levi was still ridiculously close mouthed, but Hanji had deduced a few things about him. Despite his frigid and unapproachable exterior, Levi had a heart of gold. He cared deeply for all his comrades and placed great value on human life. Hanji saw it in in the way he comforted distressed soldiers and praised them when he thought no one was looking. He liked to make vulgar jokes and spoke his mind, although he was a man of few words.</p><p>He liked expensive tea, and Hanji found that the promise of tea was a good way to spend time with him. On the rare occasions that Levi talked about himself, Hanji would give her utmost attention to whatever he was saying. </p><p>Hanji had only ever heard rumours about the city’s underground. Her parents used to tell her stories about the criminals and thieves that lived in the underground in order to dissuade her from any ambitions she may have had as a child. Levi told her over the course of the years about the horrors he had experienced there. He’d been through hell there, forced to raise himself in dire poverty, surrounded by all sorts of vile people who didn’t hesitate to try and kill him, with a severe lack of hygiene and nourishment. She felt sick sometimes listening to his stories.</p><p>She thought about all that he had gone through there. He’d been through hell there, and had been forced into another type of hell just as soon as he escaped that one. Hanji wondered whether given the choice, he would have gone back there. To that he’d replied gruffly “well, I’m here aren’t I?” to which she’d replied “yeah, I guess you are”. </p><p>They’d finished the rest of the tea in silence.</p>
<hr/><p>Levi’s skin was burning and Hanji was very worried. She didn’t have the materials she needed to treat his fever with her. ‘At least he’s alive’, Hanji told herself again. She was glad he was alive.</p><p>She wondered if he was too.</p>
<hr/><p>Even though he tolerated her, Mike and the rest of the corps, the only person Levi truly respected was Commander Erwin. Levi never listened to anyone else. He detested Nile Dok, he had had no respect at all for Commander Shadis (which had NOT made Hanji defensive at all, thank you), and was indifferent to Pixis and Zachary. He hated the “rich pigs of fucking Sina” with all his being.</p><p>Hanji had known Erwin since they had been together in the corps from the beginning. He and Mike had been childhood friends, and Hanji had become fast friends with them both. But then Erwin had brought Levi to the corps and he spent all his time with Erwin. Erwin was fascinated by Levi and apparently the feeling was mutual. </p><p>Levi spent a lot of time with Erwin, and Hanji could see the devotion in his eyes whenever she caught Levi looking at him. Erwin too seemed to trust Levi more than anyone else, and they spent most of their time in his office. They had an unbreakable trust in each other, and knew each other better than anyone. Hanji had even walked in on the insomniac Levi sleeping in Erwin’s office covered in a cloak, while Erwin gazed at him with a fond smile which she had never seen before.</p><p>After Erwin’s death, Levi was different. It was like a part of him was gone, like it had died with Erwin. She still didn’t agree with his choice, but it was his choice in the end and it was done. All they could do was move forward. But the light in his eyes wasn’t there anymore. The only thing that seemed to be driving him to fight was his promise to kill Zeke.</p><p>She had confronted him once, when the pressure of her new position was fresh and new about his decision. He’d replied “Because he was a human too. He was crumbling under the weight of the lives he’d sacrificed in order to reach his goal. He was beginning to regret his choices. And he was breaking in this hell. I made the choice to set him free and I made sure the world knew that Erwin Smith was not a monster.”</p><p>She had been angry and hurt and tired, which had made her lash out at him. “ Well, I guess you would know, since you know him so well”, she’d muttered bitterly. He had given her a look she couldn’t decipher, and said “I don’t think I ever knew him fully. I felt so betrayed when I found out that he’d been keeping secrets from me when I thought he’d trusted me with everything. And yet I followed him like the fucking dog that I am. I loved him”. </p><p>She didn’t know what to say to that. After sometime she ventured, “well, how much did you know about him then?”, to which he’d simply replied “enough”.</p><p>He walked away with an empty heart, broken and rotting, leaving her alone. He’d been back by her side the next day.</p><p>They hadn’t spoken about it again.</p>
<hr/><p>“I’d rather the two of us just live here. Right? Levi?”.</p><p>There was no answer from the body next to her and Hanji allowed herself a rueful smile. She was exhausted. Dealing with Eren’s shit had been bad enough, and now they were in a war with their best soldier incapacitated like this. ‘Erwin wouldn’t have let this happen’, she thought and shook the thought from her head. Levi had told her that she would never replace Erwin. She was going to listen. Erwin had chosen her for a reason. But there was nothing she could do now.</p><p>Levi, she knew would never give up like this. He would have continued to fight on. He was Humanities Strongest Soldier, after all. It applied to him both physically and mentally, she supposed. Even after all he’d gone through, all he’d lost, he kept fighting. He was still fighting.</p><p>She wished she could be that strong. Even during her time as Commander, he’d always been there for her. She felt a twinge of guilt in her heart. He’d taken care of her so well and she hadn’t bothered to check how he was doing at all. He’d just had everything he’d known ripped away and she hadn’t paid attention to him at all. They were the last of the survey corps. She should have been better.</p>
<hr/><p>“I hate sitting at this stupid desk all day!”, Hanji bemoaned as Levi stepped into the room with a plate of food in his hands. “Then don’t”, he drawled in his bored voice. Hanji resisted the urge to whine and asked in what she hoped was a calm, dignifying voice “Then what do you suggest I do, captain?” ”I don’t know, go take a shit. You look like you need it”.</p><p>The unexpected joke made her burst into laughter. Levi hadn’t spoken to her that way for along time. He brought her meals everyday, went with her to her meetings and was a huge support. He listened to her without question, though Hanji knew he wasn’t doing it out of loyalty or devotion. The only person he would ever be loyal to was Erwin. And she wasn’t going to replace him.</p><p>Levi took the opportunity to shove the plate of food into her hands and began to clean her desk. She chewed the food slowly and watched him work. “ That’s right, cadet Levi!” she crowed “you clean that desk like you mean it!”</p><p>Levi stared at her exasperatedly and then said “it’s probably cadet Ackerman now”, and watched as Hanji choked on the mouthful of food she had dumped into her mouth. “Whaaat? You’re related to Mikasa?” Levi shrugged and busied himself with her desk again. There was a brief silence until Hanji decided to break the ice. “Hey, how did you know that anyway?” Levi looked uncomfortable before he said “Kenny Ackerman was my uncle. My mom’s brother, apparently”. He stood straight, satisfied with his work before he turned to leave.</p><p>As he walked towards the door, Hanji murmured, “I’m sorry about your mom and… him too”. Levi looked at her before he grumbled “doesn’t matter. He was a piece of shit anyway. At least he did something decent before he bit the dust”, but Hanji could see that he had been affected. “But thanks”.</p><p>Hanji was left in silence once again as the door closed behind him.</p>
<hr/><p>Hanji got to work fixing the cart after bandaging Levi’s face. She had been working for a long time. Would Levi wake up soon? She was starting to feel quite lonely. She wished she could-</p><p>Eren was going to destroy the world.</p><p>“Don’t tell me…just now…Eren…the world”, she murmured. She heard a noise behind her. ”Levi!”</p><p>Levi was awake! He was awake! Hanji hurried over to him. ”Beast…piece of shit… where is he?” Hanji settled him back down, answering his questions and asking him what happened. She watched Levi mourn his failing while holding up the remains of his right hand. ”I’m sorry, you must be full of regret”, she sighed “but for now…”</p><p>“What’s left…if we run and hide…like this”. Hanji smiled bitterly. “What…you could hear my soliloquy, huh”. She watched as Levi pointed to the cart she had been rebuilding. “There’s no way…you can be docile while being kept in the dark”. He always knew what to say, didn’t he.</p><p>“Yeah…that’s right. I can’t”.</p>
<hr/><p>They ran into the cart titan and Theo Magath. It was a stroke of pure luck. With sheer desperation, Hanji pleaded with them to listen to her. It hurt her to inform them of Levi’s state but it couldn’t be helped. ”He’s just a man who was too stubborn to die”.</p><p>It was easy enough to convince Mikasa to help stop Eren, and just a bit harder to convince Jean. Hanji wasn’t happy to admit that her weak minded and idealistic thoughts had lead Eren to take such drastic actions, but she refused to condone the slaughter of all of humanity. </p><p>While they waited for the rest of the old squad Levi to show up, she and Jean sat with Levi as he slept, mostly in order to put off the inevitable confrontational conversation that was brewing within the tension between the two parties.</p><p>As a result, Hanji had nothing to do but watch Levi sleep. He looked so peaceful, in a way she had never seen before. He looked like a child, dreaming about innocent, childlike things. He had never seemed so small before. He had been suffering silently all this while. And yet he was still so strong, powering through all the pain. </p><p>She wondered if had ever felt peace in his life. </p><p>She wondered if death brought peace.</p><p>She thought of the soldiers she had shot who had been under her command. She hoped they were at peace.</p><p>She hoped that all those who had died fighting were at peace.</p><p>She put her hand in his and the two fingers that remained curled around her fingers. She smiled and brushed the hair out of his eyes.</p><p>Maybe once this war ended, the two of them could come back here. They could have a cabin, small and comfortable. Hanji could continue her experiments without abandon, and Levi could drink all the tea he wanted. He could teach he some tricks he had picked up and she could teach him all about science. They could be together and maybe both of them could be happy.</p><p>She hoped that he would find peace someday.</p>
<hr/><p>Hanji was tired.</p><p>Being commander had been difficult. She had sacrificed so many soldiers for this cause. And she’d thought of giving up. It was unacceptable.</p><p>She would continue to fight. She owed it to them. She wouldn’t give up. They would stop Eren.</p><p>They had to.</p><p>“Hey, Levi…is everyone watching? Can we face our dead comrades with pride?”</p><p>She didn’t look at him. He told her not to say things like that. But she knew he felt the same way.</p><p>If they failed today, they would try again.</p><p>“I brought everyone here. I killed countless comrades to be here.”</p><p>“I will take that burden.”</p><p>It was her time now. It was her responsibility. Her duty as the 14th commander of the Survey Corps.</p><p>She would never give up. They would all fight. </p><p>
  <i>
    <b>“Shinzou Wo Sasageyo.”</b>
  </i>
</p><p>He had helped her realise that. He always did. He was always there, he always understood.</p><p>She felt for him. She was leaving him all alone once again, to fight as the hole in what remained of his heart grew. </p><p>But she had to go. She had done all she could. She wanted to go out with a bang.</p><p>A smile came to her lips. Dear Levi, he’d always been with her. She wouldn’t have made it this far without his silent support. He meant the world to her.</p><p>“Ha Ha! That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say that!”</p><p>She would keep those words in her heart. She would fly to her death with the memory of his voice giving her courage.</p><p>She rose above the colossal titans. They marched by, monstrous yet majestic. They were beautiful.</p><p>“Titans really are wonderful”.</p>
<hr/><p>Hanji wakes up surrounded by her comrades, pride in their eyes.</p><p>Moblit helps her up, Erwin tells her she has done well.</p><p>Hanji feels peace. She laughs a real laugh, loud and free.</p><p>She thinks of Levi, the last remaining relic of the old survey corps. She knows that she has left him alone. He has no one now. And yet she knows he will fight. After all, he is the strongest of them all. He will fight, and soon he will join them.</p><p>He will find the peace he never knew.</p><p>She will watch and she will wait for him. She closes her eyes, and smiles as she hears him speak to her.</p><p>“See ya, Hanji. Keep watching over us”.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone! This is my first fic ever, so i don't really know what I'm doing. I would really appreciate if you could share your thoughts by leaving a review. Constructive criticism is welcome.<br/>Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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